Thursday, December 9, 2010

Procrastination


Procrastination. noun


Procrastinate : verb: to put off intentionally and habitually


Ouch...intentionally and habitually....and it's an action word...not a person, place or thing....an action...


I joke a fair bit about procrastination paying off. For example, since I didn't deliver more than two Christmas presents last year, when a friends birthday rolled around in the spring and I was caught unaware I just took the gift out of the christmas bag and gave her her christmas gift for her birthday. I actually felt surprisingly prepared.


This year as Christmas approaches I still have some gifts wrapped from last year and a few cards filled out too. We'll see if they get delivered this year or if they remain in the bag for one more year.


Sometimes if you procrastinate long enough, someone else will do "it" for you. I am starting to wonder if that is always a good thing? It could also mean that someone else will do "it" before you. And that is when I find myself kicking myself.


Procrastination seems to be a theme for me. A pattern. A motto. A trademark. A story I keep telling myself.


I am definitely not an over-achiever. A go-getter. A shark.


I pull my weight though. I'm not a total slacker.


I guess I can see how the movers and the shakers get shit done and how getting things done ( and done well) is a good thing. And I have a few things that I need to get done.


This doesn't mean you'll be getting that christmas present I have wrapped for you in my closet this year. But next year....watch out!


love Tricia


Thursday, October 21, 2010

Wabi sabi.........a term I heard with ethusiams from my good friend S. And then mentioned again today as a life saving article for my friend L.

Wabi sabi...embracing imperfections. Big Sigh. Yes! A word, a philosophy, yes, a philosophy, a train of thought, a shared idea embracing imperfection.....embracing...No...Celebrating the cracks in life.

Who couldn't, who can't , who wouldn't want to embrace, hug, squeeze the livin daylights out of a philosophy that rewards, celebrates, appreciates our faults.

Balance...alot of the conmmunication I am receiving from the Source latley has been encompassed in a mesage stressing balance....balance and duality.....appreciating both the light and the dark. For is the dark not necessary to see the light?

Moment by moment, i am reassured that i am closer if not bang on the path that is calling to me.

In yoga this is darhma, what one is meant to do. Life's purpose.

Constant moments of reassurance lately that i am where i am meant to be... but how could I or you be anywhere else?

We are all exactly where we are meant to be along the path at each moment.

I thought going to see Po'Girl live at a small private venue would be enough creative juice to get back to writing but no, it was showing up at a yoga workshop that i knew I wanted to be at even though I had no real idea what it was about....it was showing up for that that reinforced my place among the stars.

Thank-you to those of you who walk this earth and reside within their own centres....for you i am grateful...for you I look to mimic in hopes of walking this earth from my own centre....

Thank you for wabi sabi...thank you for the gift of seeing perfection in imperfection...for relishing the flaws and knowing that they are so so necessary for growth....for loving the stretching even though there may be growing pains...thank-you.

Wabi-sabi........yes. Thank-you.

In gratitude, Tricia

Monday, October 4, 2010

Re:Surfacing

Well....Here I am again.
Did you miss me?
Did you notice this empty space?


Do you want a recap or should we just move forward? From right here, the right now, this most recent moment in time/space?


I think I will share with you some of the journeys that took place but not today...we'll save that for another post (or two) altogether.


My most recent adventures include a weekend that just wrapped up of intiation into the world of shamanism.


Does that word immediately conjure images in your mind ? Do you hear that word and feel yourself tense up anywhere or do you feel your eyebrows raising?


I think the word holds alot of energy and attached meanings to different people depending on your upbringing and experiences in the world thus far.


I have to admit, I was skeptical of those who called themself "Shaman". Kinda like how anyone can ordain themselves online and suddenly be a Minister of any church they invented. I thought "Where's the authenticity?" You can't just choose to be a shaman...you have to have been chosen or born into the position.


But what if we change the word "shaman" and call it practicing the "Art of Shamism"....now we are getting closer I think.


I have always craved a "teacher". A "guru". A "guide".


There are things I know about myself and so much more that I don't know BUT my desire to work one on one with a spiritual companion has been strong since childhood.


Raised in the Catholic tradition I sought comfort and companionship in my statue of the virgin Mary. She was protector at night and she was who I prayed to when I prayed.


I was critical of my Catholic upbring early on...I hated the hypocrisy, judged the faith for building grand churches and not giving enough to the poor. The pomp and circumstance disgusted me rather than strengthen my faith. I was young mind you and interpreting this through a child's eye but I couldn't relate to what was going on and my journey to find something that resonated began.

Now, don't misinterpret my misgivings about the church....I have reconciled my differences and find peace in many of the traditions and pagan origins of the catholic faith.


So now, I think I may explore my celtic heritage. It is a rich culture steeped in myth and magic and lore and has called to me for some time but I am yet to claim it.

The term for my new adventure will be "domestic shamanism". Yes, balancing family life with spiritual pursuits....

Journeying with ancestors amongst or between the dirty dishes and piles of laundry.

In peace, Tricia



Friday, July 2, 2010

Oh man, I lost my groove. I'll find it again, I always do. But, here's the but...my groove is that i do loose my groove.

Definition of groove : (noun)1. a long narrow tunnel

2. any channel or rut cut or worn in a surface

3. a habitual way of doing something; settled routine

( verb )1. to take great pleasure or satisfaction

to enjoy oneself

to be affected with pleasurable excitement

2. to react or interact harmoniously

Since I totally suck when it comes to routine, I think I prefer to view the word "groove" as a verb. I definitely lost my "groove" the past few weeks. The end of the school year ... which didn't end soon enough. And the end of our so-called 'routine"...a quick trip to Vancouver thrown in there...a few illnesses throughout the family...the onset of summer, only drippy and soggy and cloudy and the beginning of a full time wear me out, break me down job at the liquor store.

Yes, my groove will be temporarily interrupted as the new summer groove falls into place. Most people look forward to the easy, breezy, relaxed, sun, sand and salads of summer but for me it is a stressful dance to balance childcare, a full time job, friends and family....

So, my new groove will allow waaay less time here. Boo.

Always reminding myself to be gentle...this too shall pass. Embrace the now.

Peace out, Tricia

Monday, June 21, 2010

Happy Solstice


Night-time stars and bonfires bright

Families and friends sing on good St. John's Night

Summer sun, the sweet smell of hay,

And children all dancing on Midsummer Day.


At Midsummer time the fairies come out,

If children could see them with glee they would shout!

On Midsummer's Eve even gnomes try to dance,

In fairy-ring revels they awkwardly prance.

On Midsummer Day elves and fairies all fly

From acorns and buttercups up to the sky.

~Mala Powers
May the warm summer sun shine upon you.
Blessings, Tricia

Friday, June 18, 2010

The Last Wild Witch

Isn't this a lovely story with incredible illustrations?

Ok, it has been almost entirely a youtube week....no time to sit and contemplate.

No time to be still and quiet while sitting in front of the computer.

And it's friday already...which is more like my tuesday cause i worked last night, again tonight and on saturday.

Weekends don't feel like weekends when you are working them. Mabe I will get lucky and get called in for a day shift on sat and still make it to the bbq....that would be nice....

with love, Tricia

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Mother's Blessing_Snatam Kaur




For all the Mammas listening.


Beautiful.


with love, Tricia

Universal Mother - Ancient Chants, Blissful Grooves

Just a few minutes here to remind myself that we are all connected to the Universal Mother. That we are all embodiments of the Goddess and the Sacred Feminine. Reflections of the Divine.

peace, Tricia

Tuesday, June 15, 2010


Sometimes you know without a doubt that you are exactly where you are suppose to be.



I had that intense affirmation as I sat amongst a drum circle, a visitor within a community, happily anticipating what was in store for the evening.



The "teacher" was a kind, compassionate, forgiving soul with a passion for music. Those who have sat next to me in a singing circle or who have recovered drums from my hands and replaced them with shakers, know that I am rhythmically challenged. That acknowledged I was a bit nervous about the "voice toning" aspect of the evening, that is, until we actually began the evening. All trepidation dissolved. Once again I was in the presence of a "teacher" who believed in the process and finding joy in the process, in taking the risk to try, in the journey not the destination.



He started out the evening getting everybody to stand and just step from one foot to the other until the whole room was entrained in this movement. That was the first sign, this was how my initial birthing From Within workshop got started as well. Entrainment is a powerful thing. Basically, getting into the same rhythm...the same current....it's chemistry, it's biology, it's nature. It's being pulled by the strongest force in the room....thus the relevance to birth. For a woman-centred birth she must be allowed to be the strongest force in the room around which everyone else becomes entrained. This must be taught in our culture today otherwise the caregiver (doctor/midwife) will be the strongest force around which the rest of the room becomes entrained. So there we were, stepping from side to side and you could feel the current, the energy, the pulse in the room. Then he added some sound (at which point the thinking brain steps in and it is harder to stay entrained unless you can shut off the thinking brain and resort back to instinct (again, like birth)) and from there the night was wonderful.

He talked about the cycles in music, in life, and how everything is just one big cyclical event and i was thinking how this might be a profound thought to some people but how in tune woman are or can be to these cycles because we are forced to live them whether we acknowledge that or not. It's one of the things that bothers me about our culture regarding menstruation and the pill and all the effort to make cycles shorter or non-existant....we loose touch with out natural rhythm and in doing so fail to see or feel the connection to nature, to the Mother Nature, to Mother Earth. It's so sad in many ways. But anyhow, I was there, listening and thinking about all the beautiful women in my life who honour their connection to cycles.

And then the chanting was so powerful for me in the moment that as I have said it moved me to tears. I knew I was where i was suppose to be. And I was so in the moment. That's what I love about chanting . Especially sanskrit, which means nothing to me but carries it's own energy just by the vibration the sound creates. Abnd everything else dissolves into that moment. Big sigh.

Empty your lungs. Let all your breathe out. Push it all the way out of your lungs.

Deep breathe in. Up through the diaghram, up through the chest, up, up, up and bog breathe out.

Synchronicity. Simple. Beautiful. It happens.

with love, Tricia

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Need I Say More



UCLA STUDY ON FRIENDSHIP AMONG WOMEN
By Gale Berkowitz
A landmark UCLA study suggests friendships between women are special. They shape who we are and who we are yet to be. They soothe our tumultuous inner world, fill the emotional gaps in our marriage, and help us remember who we really are. By the way, they may do even more.
Scientists now suspect that hanging out with our friends can actually counteract the kind of stomach-quivering stress most of us experience on a daily basis. A landmark UCLA study suggests that women respond to stress with a cascade of brain chemicals that cause us to make and maintain friendships with other women. It's a stunning find that has turned five decades of stress research---most of it on men---upside down.
"Until this study was published, scientists generally believed that when people experience stress, they trigger a hormonal cascade that revs the body to either stand and fight or flee as fast as possible," explains Laura Cousino Klein, Ph.D., now an Assistant Professor of Biobehavioral Health at Penn State University and one of the study's authors. "It's an ancient survival mechanism left over from the time we were chased across the planet by saber-toothed tigers.
Now the researchers suspect that women have a larger behavioral repertoire than just "fight or flight." "In fact," says Dr. Klein, "it seems that when the hormone oxytocin is released as part of the stress responses in a woman, it buffers the "fight or flight" response and encourages her to tend children and gather with other women instead.
When she actually engages in this tending or befriending, studies suggest that more oxytocin is released, which further counters stress and produces a calming effect. This calming response does not occur in men", says Dr. Klein, "because testosterone---which men produce in high levels when they're under stress---seems to reduce the effects of oxytocin. Estrogen", she adds, "seems to enhance it."
The discovery that women respond to stress differently than men was made in a classic "aha!" moment shared by two women scientists who were talking one day in a lab at UCLA. "There was this joke that when the women who worked in the lab were stressed, they came in, cleaned the lab, had coffee, and bonded", says Dr. Klein." When the men were stressed, they holed up somewhere on their own. I commented one day to fellow researcher Shelley Taylor that nearly 90% of the stress research is on males. I showed her the data from my lab, and the two of us knew instantly that we were onto something."
The women cleared their schedules and started meeting with one scientist after another from various research specialties. Very quickly, Drs. Klein and Taylor discovered that by not including women in stress research, scientists had made a huge mistake: The fact that women respond to stress differently than men has significant implications for our health. It may take some time for new studies to reveal all the ways that oxytocin encourages us to care for children and hang out with other women, but the "tend and befriend" notion developed by Drs. Klein and Taylor may explain why women consistently outlive men. Study after study has found that social ties reduce our risk of disease by lowering blood pressure, heart rate, and cholesterol.
"There's no doubt," says Dr. Klein, "that friends are helping us live." In one study, for example, researchers found that people who had no friends increased their risk of death over a 6-month period. In another study, thoseh who had the most friends over a 9-year period cut their risk of death by more than 60%. Friends are also helping us live better.
The famed Nurses' Health Study from Harvard Medical School found that the more friends women had, the less likely they were to develop physical impairments as they aged, and the more likely they were to be leading a joyful life. In fact, the results were so significant, the researchers concluded, that not having close friends or confidantes was as detrimental to your health as smoking or carrying extra weight!
And that's not all! When the researchers looked at how well the women functioned after the death of their spouse, they found that even in the face of this biggest stressor of all, those women who had a close friend confidante were more likely to survive the experience without any new physical impairments or permanent loss of vitality. Those without friends were not always so fortunate.
Yet if friends counter the stress that seems to swallow up so much of our life these days, if they keep us healthy and even add years to our life, why is it so hard to find time to be with them? That's a question that also troubles researcher Ruthellen Josselson, Ph.D., co-author of "Best Friends: The Pleasures and Perils of Girls' and Women's Friendships (Three Rivers Press, 1998)."Every time we get overly busy with work and family, the first thing we do is let go of friendships with other women," explains Dr. Josselson. "We push them right to the back burner. That's really a mistake because women are such a source of strength to each other. We nurture one another. And we need to have unpressured space in which we can do the special kind of talk that women do when they're with other women. It's a very healing experience."
Taylor, S. E., Klein, L.C., Lewis,B. P., Gruenewald, T. L., Gurung, R.A.R.,
& Updegraff, J. A. (2000).
"Female Responses to Stress: Tend and Befriend, Not Fight or
Flight",Psychological Review, 107(3), 41-429.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Drum Brothers & Satsang Music


Drum Brothers & Satsang Music



Once again another joyous escape into the ecstatic pulse of the drumbeat.

I was moved to tears as the whole room vibrated and resonated with the pulse and beat of not only the guitar, drone, and drum but also of the power of chant. Tears...i fought them back. I was overcome with emotion, with feeling, with being alive, with getting in touch, with release.



Big sigh. All the air out. Blow it away. again. return to centre. pause. Exhale. Breathe in. deep. forceful out breathe. close your eyes. listen. repeat.



Ahhh, it has been a week. I wanted to melt right there and blubber and sob and let it out. If it were any other gathering I would have. I pictured the leader of the workshop as Pam (England, BFW) and I know if she were there she would have welcomed the tears, she would have known another layer had been peeled away...finally...she would have looked me straight in the eye and challenged me to go deeper, to get in touch, to get angry perhaps. But it was not the time or place. So I talked myself down, I told myself what i was feeling was only a story I was telling myself, that it wasn't the real story...that eveything was a story.....



The pulse, the beat, the rhythm, the unity in a group of strangers. The energy, the beauty, the symetry, the syncronicity, the heartbeat.....



The muck, the mudiness, the struggle, the hurt, the fear, the future.....disolved for but a moment.



Thank-you. More. More. More. Enough.

with love, Tricia

And so it will be Sense and Sensibility as my july read. I found it the other day for $1.00 at the thrift store. I also found an autobiography of Jane Austen written by Carol Shields which I also picked up. I think it will be an interesting read as well.

Some days are just hard. The perpetual cycle of the day in/ day out catches up and like a crack in the cosmic egg all hell breaks loose. Yesterday was like that.


What to do?


Well, my motto for awhile has been "Keep on truckin'"... or "Still Truckin'" if someone asks "how's it going?"....


It seems to work.


Yesterday as the chaos that was began to subside and much gentler rhythm began to unfold I was graced with the unexpected presence of good friends. Both arriving almost simultaneously. One didn't stay long, the other was forced to settle in and once again be guided by the wishes/needs of the children.


There are few things that can compare to the comfort and solace granted by the simple pleasure of spending time in the company of a good friend. One who sees past the dirt on the floors, the smudges on all the windows, the dishes in and out of the sink, the toilet paper rolling around the bathroom floor and the piles of clothes that multiply as the night goes on (they just do).


And so we shared a meal (kinda) and shared some wine and shared some smiles and enjoyed the kids being kids.


It is moments like that that seal the crack in the cosmic egg (for another day) and help propel me forward to a new day (same crap/different day).
with love, Tricia


Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Yep. Seriously. I went to see this movie last night. Of course, the company is what really made the experience fabulous. Myself and three friends...ok, mom friends...cause when you break it all down you can get away from the kids for a few hours but you never really get a "break" from being the mom.

Yep. right again. I used the word the. The mom. Not a mom...anyone can be a mom but in each family there is noone that can replace, duplicate, fill in the shoes (no matter how big, how small or how crappy) of the mom.

So we went as four moms sans enfants. With big purses filled with all kinds of chocolate, snack mix, fuzzy peaches and natural gummy things plus one smart cookie had a water bottle full of gin. We sat in the very last row...four seats...perfect.

And the movie...well, it was kinda enjoyable. There were some really good scenes in that flick.

Today was one of those days (again) where the scene with the "true confessions of mommyhood" (take a sip) rang true once again. It seems like it should be simple. I just need them to get up, get ready, and go to school. Not so easy. So we ended up in a stand off once again. This time with Chloe locked in the bathroom, not coming out, actually getting cozy in the bathtub. This after I chased her around the kitchen with a scary look on my face and the closest thing possible in my hand, a piece of wooden train track...and I thought "move faster,get motivated, get out the door". She didn't try to hurry up and catch her ride, she leisurly stood there packing her bag, listening to the horn honking (huge irritation) and didn't attempt to speed up. UGH. So frustrating and I snapped. And she ran to bathroom and wouldn't come out. She later transfered to her room.

Where is my all expense paid trip to Abudabu when I need one? With friends and a private bar?

There is no Abudabi in my future. Thank goddess the friend part makes up for that! And the private bar? Not so much, but there are clothing swaps and full moon singing circles and potlucks to make up for it and to dip into too much sangria and more. There are open ears and open hearts and reflective eyes. There are lots of hugs and open arms. There is alot of "how can I help or what do you need".....

It just doesn't take the the from in front of the word "mom"...I'm still the mom. Dammit some days.

And the days not over yet.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

I watched this movie last night. I have a "wish" list when it comes to movies I havn't seen yet but know they are kicking around my many dvd piles. It usual goes like this : I wish the kids were in bed, I wish the dishes were done, I wish I weren't too tired to watch a good movie.

Last night the kids played outside till bedtime and I gave them a snack, helped them brush their teeth and Lola just crawled into bed and was asleep before I turned the light off. Astrid was a little more determined to stay up, so as she lay sprawled on the recliner, head on the footrest, the rest of her body laying across the seat and arms of the recliner looking like a cat....she tried to stay awake. I went in the kitchen for a moment, walked by a few minutes later and she was hanging there, cat-like, upside down in the chair, asleep. I moved her to her bed shortly there after and began to dig through the pile of dvd's.

I settled on The Jane Austen Book Club. I am so glad I did! It was one of those wonderful little movies that had me grinning the whole time. Yes, it was delightful.

I love that kinda easy to watch, feel good, chic flick. Although, I think even the guys could appreciate this one. It was just good.

I realised, not that it's a surprise to me or anything, that I have never read a Jane Austen novel.
I know, shame on me( as my Catholic mother would say, not that she's ever read on either).

I think I will choose one for my summer reading.

Any suggestions from out there?

I may just start with the first one that shows up at the thrift store....or I could be more specific and choose one and hunt it down at the second hand bookstore.

I havn't decided yet.

with love, Tricia

Monday, June 7, 2010

more on meditation

So much of my life is about being a mom. I didn't want to just be a "mommy blogger", not that I am officially a blogger (but I do kinda love this as a creative outlet) but I did suspect that I may have many more layers of interesting and fascinating stories and "stuff" to share.

Not so much.

Right now.

I am still on borrowed time whilst I sit here and type. (one handed I might add because I learned to type and breastfeed or hold a babe and thus the one handed typing thing)

So the meditation thing.....sweet story.

Yesterday I was bound to the usual routine of hunting and gathering the groceries for the week and Saige needed to clean the yoga studio. So off we went. She was in a good mood perhaps from reeling in a good haul of babysitting cash over the weekend. For whatever reason she decided to be uncharacteristically generous and bought me a blended coffee from Blendz. Then we started to drive and she cranked, I mean CRANKED the Lady Ga Ga on the stereo. She danced and sang in the passenger seat beside me and I could feel her exuberance like rays of sunshine.

It was loud. Real loud. I just drove. I didn't reach to turn it down. I didn't comment on how loud it was. I found myself meditating to Lady Ga Ga. I moved my shoulders up and down to the beat a few times, I might have sang along with a chorus or two but for the most part I just didn't try to change it. I just noticed my thoughts and my daughter enjoying herSELF and we drove home vibrating with the rhythm.

It was a good moment.

It is a small town though and I was wishing that I had been wearing a pair of dark sunglasses.


with love, Tricia

Saturday, June 5, 2010

The Oculatum Day 6 Week 2

Four lines, read six times, thrice daily..................

THE EGG
MUST BREAK
FOR THE EAGLE
TO FLY

Another good one....with many interpretations I would suspect................I like it!

Friday, June 4, 2010

The Oculatum Day 5 Week 2

Four lines, read six times, thrice daily........here we go.....

COMPLACENCE
BE FRIEND
OF CERTAIN
FAILURE

That's a good one for me................

Thursday, June 3, 2010

The Oculatum Day 4 Week 2

Four lines, read six times, thrice daily......

TO WAIT
IS OFTEN
THE BOLDER
ACTION


Hmmm...always interesting. I never peek ahead to see what the next four lines will be...

Wouldn't it be fun to copy some of these out on paper and start leaving them around the city for people to find? Not quite hidden between stones and mortar, but kinda....

with love, Tricia

Wednesday, June 2, 2010



So as I was making my smoothie and a fruit fly landed inside the blender...a big fruit fly...one that has been feeding in our kitchen for some time now...one that now looks like a fruit fly bat...and as I tried to shew it away...I lost track of it.




I only had the banana and some juice in the blender at this point, so I did a thorough check looking for the little big guy and couldn't see any signs.




I waited and watched for a bit...waved a half a lemon around and hoped he would show up....no sign of him. Knowing this "issue" was getting a bit close to OCD territory I continued to add the rest of the ingredients, put the lid on and flicked the switch.




I am still a wee bit disturbed by the fly's disappearance....




I know, I probably eat more bugs in my sleep...but this time I was awake...




And still not convinced that I was successful at shooing it out of the blender.


The Oculatum Day 3 Week 2

Four lines, read six times, thrice daily....

THAT DESPISED
OF OTHERS
WE SOON SEE
OF OUR SELF

Once in the morning, again at noon, and once more before retiring for the evening...

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Zentangle Zendoodle Art Play- Hand in Circle Mandala by Milliande

www.milliande.com

I found this cool demo and wonderful art site....

I love the idea of the zendala...

I wanted to show you the one I did but, the batteries are dead on the camera and they have to charge before I can upload it.....

So, give it a try....I used a dvd that was sitting her beside me to start and a piece of blank printer paper...and a fine point sharpie.....

It is fun! And medatative!

xoxTricia



Today there were a few of those rare (ok, not so rare) moments in Motherhood where I wanted to stop the tape....whoah...hold it....cut.

I simply decided we would follow friends to the park to enjoy the sunshine and the whining and fighting began!

I can definitely see some days how it would be easier to have half the kids I have....

Oh, the stink eye and attitude from the Big Girls because I choose to zip over to the park so their sisters could enjoy some play time. The whining and complaining and effort to be miserable.

The worst part : the witnesses. Yep. It is at times like these that I would prefer to throw them all back into the van (whining, complaining,fighting) and drive home and LOCK MYSELF IN MY BEDROOM. Perhaps even enjoy a bit of a pity party over the lousy behaviour exhibited by my children...in public, no less. And mabe even stroll for awhile down that path of "where did I go wrong?"....and then eat some hidden lindt easter eggs....and get ready to emerge from my cocoon of denial. I said I would prefer to do this...what I did was resist the urge to throttle the two oldest kids, let the younger kids play (when they weren't being harassed by their older sisters) and stayed a few minutes longer than I might have if they had been cooperating. And I just kinda "noticed" the feelings that were coming up. In my head I was having a full on temper tantrum to match the full on teenage tantrums I was subjected to. Subjected...sounds victim-ish...it is...I was feeling that way...I just didn't respond that way...outwards.

Yep. Other moms at the park with their still "controlable" kids under the age of....7...or so. Most likely thinking to themselves that they will never let their kids behave like that...let alone in public. I've learned never to say "never"....there may always be a first time.

And really, are my on the "way to adulthood" kids not responsible for their own lousy behaviour by now....How long am I held responsible? Just wondering.

Things seemed to settled down once we were home but i am still searching the internet for an exchange program (minus the exchange) that I can send them on to experience a different culture. Preferably one without internet, cable, plumbing or readily available food. You know, something that would help them realise how good they've got it...even when forced to enjoy a few minutes in the sunshine at the park.

with love, Tricia

The Oculatum Day 2 Week 2

Four lines, read six times, thrice daily.....cause clarity is good.


FEAR NOT TO
GROW OLDEN
BETTER FEAR
NOT TO GROW

Good point.

Monday, May 31, 2010

The anti - virgo


Ok, so if I waited 'till I knew how to anything "right" I'd be waiting my whole life. I am not a perfectionist...not even close. I remember sitting outside the window where all the "ballet moms" wait while our daughters were in class. It was a small little space with chairs gathered around so we could get a peak. Astrid was a baby at the time, mabe one and a half years old and I had brought her frozen blueberries to snack on. She loved them! And they kept her occupied and content on my lap and she nursed less often (which was like a circus freak show apparently when she did) and so she sat upon my lap and I held the container. I was just staring through the window and didn't notice the look of horror on the other parents faces as I calmly sat with my toddler all drippy, squishy and purple-y from the thawing mess. What?!? I carried wipes.

I would wipe her hands every now and again and she would continue on....



I just don't get riled up over melting, squishing, frozen blueberries if my child is happy.



But...the other moms were needing some therapy after witnessing that, I can tell you that.



Of course, some of them were actually wearing white and there were definitely some heels in the room.



Mabe that says something about my standards.....mabe it says something about our priorities as a society....you choose.



I am definitely suspicious of a very tidy house...you know the one....everything has it's place and it's ALWAYS in it. Always...even when you stop by unexpected....except, honestly...I don't know any of these people well enough to stop by unexpectedly.



A messy house is a sign of comfort...a sign of priorities....my missing sock pile.....ok, that's a bit much BUT my kids know the "magic" of mismatched socks...You do know they are magical when they aren't matched don't you?


Anyhow, the point is, I can't seem to make the text here stay in the space it was designed for...or I've chosen the wrong design or I'm not doing something I should be doing. (ugh, I said "should"). So, if you have any tips, I'll take 'em, otherwise, it could take me awhile to figure it out or it could take me awhile to care enough to figure it out. If I had waited until it was perfect, I wouldn't be here with you right now.


I have found an exciting thing that I will share with you another day...it relates to the topic but I want to show you and I can't figure out how to get the pics off my camera onto the computer...I know, there's a cord...I did that but it's not working....so, soon. Stay tuned.


with love and messiness, Tricia

The Oculatum

Four lines repeated six times thrice throughout the day....

The wise
journeyman
will measure
twice fold


Now write it downd on a scrap of paper and put it in your pocket....

Sunday, May 30, 2010

A Strong Woman




A Strong Woman




A strong woman works out every day to keep her body in shape-


But a woman of strength looks


deep inside to keep her soul in shape.




A strong woman isn't afraid of anything-


But a woman of strength shows


courage in the midst of her fear.




A strong woman won't let anyone get the best of her-


But a woman of strength gives


the best of herself to everyone.




A strong woman makes mistakes and avoids the same in the future-


But a woman of strength realizes


life's mistakes can also be blessings and capitalizes on them.




A strong woman walks sure footedly-


But a woman of strength knows


when to ask for help.




A strong woman wears the look of confidence on her face-


But a woman of strength wears


an aura of grace.




A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey


But a woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey


that she will become strong.
~Author Unknown (unless you know?)
with love, Tricia


Saturday, May 29, 2010

So, I wasn't planning on blogging about everything but this is kinda like a journal only different. Anyways, I chipped my front tooth AGAIN last night...it's utterly ridiculous really...my front tooth, seriously. And each time it happens it seems I have to work the next few days.

This time I was biting my fingernails...I know, bad habit...that'll teach me not to bite them...ah, no, I've been biting them since I was five...my dad used to put black electrical tape on my fingers to discourage biting them...didn't work...my mom tried putting on this bitter tasting stuff...didn't work...It's habit and it's not on my list of things "to change about me"....(I would like skinnier thighs...but that's another story)...So, anyhow, crunch, gasp...look in mirror...gasp...the horror...my front tooth is chipped again. Seriously.

Last time it chipped...five months ago...yeah, that's right...the damn tooth didn't even last six months...it cost me 200.00 bucks out of pocket cause our dental won't cover that tooth for another two - five years....

But the alternative...hillbilly smile (not that there's anything wrong with that) but seriously!?!

Now, I'm not a very vain person...I really , truly, don't spend alot of time on personal grooming...although, I will admit that since my kids aren't sitting outside the shower in their carseats waiting for me to finish showering....that i do enjoy having a shower, conditioning my hair and even blowdrying it. And because I can, I sometimes take up to 30 mins to do all that from start to finish....it's been years coming though, trust me.

But, I'm not the mom with manicured nails (obviously, if I bite them) or polished toes...my toes are sore from wearing steel toed shoes at the liquor store (ouchy) and my make-up...non existant for the most part...I think my kids wear my make-up more than i do....why do i think that? Because i seem to break out in itchy watery eyes every time I wear eye stuff....yup, I think they've highjacked my make-up.

Speaking of make-up...it's my ultimate useless splurge sometimes...the splurge because...i'm a woman, I'm old, (mature-ish) and I might as well try to look my best now...cause this is my prime...apparently. I only buy it sometimes, and not that often and I usually don't know what to do with it once I get it home...but I feel grown up.

So, back to my chipped tooth. It just reminded me how low on the priority list my vanity is until it's my front tooth...then I want it fixed...no matter what the cost. Seriously.

It's got me thinking...I might even shave my legs.

xoxTricia

Friday, May 28, 2010

Blueberry Girl - New from Neil Gaiman

My newest armchair reading material is the book The Wonder of Girls by Michael Gurian. Here is a good article http://www.michaelgurian.com/seattle-p-i.html . It is never too late on the path of parenting to explore new therories and put good wisdom to the test...so, I'll let you know how that goes....Either I read the book or it ends up on my shelf with all the other parenting books that just seem like good ideas.

Have a great weekend!

with love, Tricia

Thursday, May 27, 2010

More on mango mama...


http://web.archive.org/web/20000707005718/http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Woods/2924/index.html

Oh my...that is a looong web address link...I hope it works...

If it does, it is a link to Mango Mama's original web pages...there is some interesting stuff there. In fact, alot of really good stuff.

It reminded me too that this web stuff lasts as a testament to a "moment in time"... it will be here in the bowels of the cyberworld long after we are!

Mango Mama started a blog a few years ago but it has not been updated lately. There are a few gems here as well and for me...it completes the story. My obsession with rise and fall of the Perfect Natural Mother can be put to rest. I'll still search out "great women" bloggers and whatnots to inspire me, help me raise my bar (of standards,not drinks), encourage me to be creative, and to love this life!

I must admit though...my greatest inspiration...it's you! Yes, you! The friend/mother/sister/woman who has stopped by here to lurk, to browse, to compare, to check in, to show interest, to be present...it is you who inspire me. I love that the world is at our fingertips each waking day...and what a big, wide world it is...but it is the tiny cubby holes and the prescence of good people that really make me want to sing (even though I sing badly)! The beautiful people in my life have brought more beautiful people and I hope that will continue and I am grateful for this! It is the simple woman, the mother who will bake a friend a casserole when she can't bake one for herself, the woman who says.."let's share a bottle of wine or if that's too ambitious...let's just steal a moment here together", the woman who's home you never feel like a stranger in...in fact you rarely knock (except to give her time to put a bra on or not), the woman who gives you a hug upon each greeting and in her arms your heart expands....cause there's just not enough hugging going on out there.... because we are all sisters and we're enough! It's the little things we do and do for each other that inspire greatness.

And because this is a follow up and conclusion to Mango Mama, remember to be gentle with yourself.



with love, Tricia

Full Moon



Happy Full moon in may. May's full moon is known as the Hare moon or full flower moon.


Here is an interesting website with all kinds of moon lore and useful and interesting information.



A cool website with Full Moon Feasts recipes is http://www.siennese.com/~prentice/feasts/



Happy full moon!

xoxTricia

Tuesday, May 25, 2010


Ever heard of or remember Mango Mama? She was around on the net in the nineties...before blogs, before facebook, before twitter...before I was handy with a computer. I was introduced to her through a friend who was good at surfing the net and finding useful or interesting information.



Mango Mama was the poster mom for natural parenting. In fact, she and her family were pictured on the cover of the book Primal Parenting written by Hygeia Halfmoon. She was radical, she was opinionated, she was Mother Superior of Attachment parenting. And then, as life continued on, as it always does, she disappeared. Well, her web prescence did anyways. Like I mentioned, I was introduced to her through one of her followers (kinda cultish, but that's what it's called, right?) and I didn't really notice when she wasn't there anymore....but years later, I remember someone saying "Remember mango mama?" and it was then that I reconnected with the net to search out what had become of mango mama.....and well, I was surprised.

It seems mango mama kinda snapped. She reached her tipping point, it had been teetering for some time and when she fell, she fell hard. It would be like Soulemama abandoning her handmade life, take up cigarette smoking, eat process foods only and work at (gasp) Walmart.

Mango Mama, the organic, no mother substitutes, unschooling, militant breastfeeding, family bed advocate, fruitarian had an afair with a married man, put her kids in school, left her husband, abandoned her children and got a job.

She came back on line to years ago to explain what happened. I am fascinated by her story I think because I was in awe of Mango Mama way back when, and I guess her humaness is reassuring cause I certainly wasn't adding up when compared to Mango Mama. I don't take delight in her fall...I feel deep compassion and empathy for what she must have been going through. And it reminds me of the moments when i have reached the breaking point. When the thankless, underpaid, under-appreciated job of Motherhood almost swalled me whole. Somehow, I was able to belly crawl back up to the light and reconnect with what it's all about. Remind myself that Motherhood is a spiritual journey for me, not in the flaky, it's all bliss kinda way but in the nitty gritty, where the hell is my centre, my minivan is my temple, find the gems, remember it's about the journey not the destination, pull up my boot straps and accept myself for who I am, Mother and all in THIS moment.

And reach for balance....Mango Mama now wants you to know that she wasn't balanced. She urges you, pleads with you to reach for balance. Easier said than done but the old adage "When mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." is pretty true. We can't do it all, nor should we have to. Finding my tribe has been key to rejuivanating myself as a woman first, then a mother...or is it the other way around?
And what next, what happens when my tribe stays the same but I am heading towards transition? What then? I'll keep you posted.

And so, this is a cautionary tale in part. Be good to yourself. You deserve it. You're worth it. your children will thank you for taking care of your wants/needs/desires.

There are many resources out there to inspire you...

http://www.karenmaezenmiller.com/ of Cheerio Road

http://www.kindredcommunity.com/ interesting site, good articles, very interesting

http://www.mamrenew.ca/

Book The Mother's Guide to Self Renewal by Trudeau

Monday, May 24, 2010

Flex Born in bed at home Ad 2009 Subt eng

This ad was shared with me from another BFW mentor. Seems like we have a long way to go over here in North America as far as natural birth goes.....

Compare this to the images we see on t.v., magazines, movies. Wow!

I love the sibling involvement here too.

The Cracked Pot



The Cracked Water Pot

A water bearer in India had two large pots,
one hung on each end of a pole which he carried
across his neck. One of the pots had a crack
in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always
delivered a full portion of water at the end
of the long walk from the stream to the
master's house. The cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his master's house.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made.

But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it
spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream.
"I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you."

Why?" asked the bearer.
"What are you ashamed of?"
"I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house.
Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path."

Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some.
But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure.

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot's side?
That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them.
For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers
to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."

Moral:
Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots.
But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are, and look for the good in them. There is a lot of good out there.



Isn't this so true in Motherhood as well? There are so many standards to live up to, or not. So many Soulemama's and Farmmama's and Perfectmama's and Livingsimplymama's and Ecomama's and Organichighpriestessmama's and Workinforalivinmama's and Followingmyblissmama's and Yummymama's and Mainstreammama's and Hipmama's and Spiritualysuperiormama's.....it's hard to be a DoingthebestIcanmama since the women's liberation movement. Not that I don't support equal rights or women's rights or women's right to equal liberation, I do. Sometimes it seems that as far as Motherhood goes anyways, there isn't really equal....the Mom will always be the Mom and being the mom requires a different sort of sacrifice, a different sort of surrender, a different meaning to the term "parenting". It's good to have those role models or "standards" to inspire us and help us set new goals and I believe it helps us find our tribe as Mothers. We align ourselves with others that think like us, live like us, parent like we do...it re enforces our values and sense that we are living well or doing a good job.

So, the only downside to all those role models and examples out there would be when we judge ourselves or others based on idealism's. Often when we are judging someone else it's not about them...in fact, it's never about them...it's about ourselves. Always. And so, ramble ramble, back to the cracked pot....my kids will always have something from their childhood to discuss with a therapist....but they are my flowers, each different and unique. And mabe one day they will appreciate my weaknesses as "gifts" that helped shape them into the wild and crazy flowers that they are!

Even if they never have socks that match and a billion others to sift through.

with love, Tricia

Your Brain on Drums

This is the youtube video by Layne Redmond about When Women Were Drummers.

Happy Monday

Last night a wonderful , talented, creative, spirited, confident, loving, giving, daring, fun loving friend had a birthday bash to celebrate her 30th anniversary of her years on the planet. It was a great jambalaya of family friends, young and old celebrating together. It is so yummy, so rejuvenating, so soul food feedin' and FUN to have a night with friends and families and wee ones under foot, glo sticks abound, giggles and smiles, nursing babies and pregnant moms....all drumming and dancing and sharing food in joyful enjoyment, celebrating! I love that!

I love drumming...we started the evening off on the right beat with an energizing drum circle lead by the Great Bobby Bovenzi of Nankama (www.nankama.com) a leader in African and world drumming and a good friend. There's something magical about a room of people, children crawling around the circle, babies on laps, friends and strangers mingled together creating a pulse, a beat, a rhythm, a VIBE! It was great! It reminded me how much i love to be a part of that beat, even though this pale faced girl from Northern Ontario can hardly keep a beat....all is forgiven in the drum circle and when I loose the rhythm as I inevitebly do...I know to come back to the heartbeat...boom, pause, boom, pause....wait, listen....boom, pause, boom....

There is a book out called When the Women Were Drummers by Layne Redmond which I have yet to get my hands on but it tells of the history of women and drumming. I will post the video next. I have also been inspired by Nikiah of Redmoonkeeper (www.redmoonkeeper.com) who offers Red moon drum making workshops in Vancouver.....I'd love to attend.

We don't need the straight line to nowhere. We need the circle to hold us.

We don't need the solitary confinement of modern life; we need the embrace of community.

We can't lose sight, lose faith, courage, forget who we are. We have to remind each other.

We don't need to be warriors. We can be dancers.

~Karen Andes A woman's Book of Power

And so the rest of the night...we danced like noone was watching.....

with love, Tricia






Saturday, May 22, 2010

The Oculatum Day 6

The final day...well, at least for round one. I mean, who couldn't use illumination on a daily basis?



The four lines read as follows:



LOOK TO

THE LIGHT

AND SHADOWS

FALL BEHIND



Thrice now, thrice again and thrice before retiring.



Now, have you given thought as what it is you require clarity on? After the sixth day the reader may have discovered a greater sense of awareness and focus. Therefore any decisions to be made can now be acted upon.

What has been puzzling you lately?

with love,Tricia

The Oculatum Day 5

The four lines for day 5:

CLAIM NOT
AS RIGHT
THAT GIVEN
IN GIFT

Three times now, three times noonish, three times around bedtime.

in anticipation, Tricia

Friday, May 21, 2010

Oculatum Day 4

Feeling any insights yet?

Here are today's four lines :

PROGRESS
COMES NOT
WITHOUT
CHANGE

Thrice now, noon and upon retiring for the evening.

Meditation

The Labyrinth has been used for centuries as a meditation tool. Here you can trace the image with your finger on the screen. We are fortunate enough here to have a wonderful labyrinth right here in our very own backyard community of Naramata. You can visit the labyrinth at Naramata Centre anytime...

Here are a few links for online resources and more fun labyrinth stuff...
http://www.angelfire.com/tn/SacredLabyrinth/
http://www.gracecathedral.org/labyrinth/interactions/index.shtml
Again...if the links don't work...it's me...not you...try google

Happy Meditative friday!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Oculatum Day 3

Day 3

Already....how time passes. So, yesterdays four lines were interesting. Let's see what today brings. One moment while I read the page....

Today's four lines are as follows:

'TIS BETTER
TRAVEL ALONE
THAN JOIN WITH
ROGUES' COMPANY

Thrice now, thrice at noon and thrice before bed....

Something New


You never know what may unfold when you venture down a new path. Or who you will meet and how the spiraling out of those encounters will alter things forever. This is change. When we take the first step on any journey, a journey off the beaten track, beyond that first step lies the unknown....


After years of teaching Birthing From Within, where the unknown is the expected, where life becomes a metaphor for birth, I have developed a layer beneath the surface that embraces the unknown....I catch myself day to day when things don't go as I've "expected" them to go and my reactions to this. Sometimes I'm lucky enough to recognize what's happening and release my expectations and resume in the moment...more flexible, more responsive to the now, less attached to my "expectations". It is actually not that easy....it's changing my programed response or my auto-pilot and that takes alot of awareness....sometimes the awareness is there but my Rebel Child is stronger and I just follow my old ways.


Anyhow, what I was getting at is that for some the unexpected or the unknown is not a welcomed thing BUT I kinda like it.....I like believing that there are no coincidences...that everything happens for one reason or another...and that we are not victim to circumstance...we are here to learn and to choose moment to moment how we would like to respond (rather than react) to life. That said...having vision seems to be a good thing....I'm good at recognizing what I don't want....it's quite obvious...but creating or chasing or visioning what I do want seems a bit blurrier. Well, if I were perfect....or had grasped it all...really, what would be the point anymore? Might as well keep fumbling through.


The beauty of starting something new is that you don't know what will happen next.

What happened next for me once i started this blog, clueless of course of how to do this well, not sure how to arrange things on the page, still struggling with layout and settings and what the hell is a gadget anyhow? is that my beautiful middle daughter C was curious to see what I was doing and has been checking in everyday. How cool is that?


I know, some of you are thinking...pathetic, so sad, too bad....this is how she connects with her teenage daughter(wipes tear here)...her reality is very much based in cyberspace...FB,IM,iPod,Sims...and I am not writing her for her or to her...this writing is for me and the wonderful thing about staring something new is that you can't control what happens next...it is so cool and wonderful and unexpected that C stops by here on a daily basis (ok, I've only been up and running four days now, but still).


So, Welcome C! I'm glad you're here. Keep coming back! Mommy loves you!
On a different not but kinda the same, C commented on my post about breastfeeding at the public pool and she said something like "Yeah, they shouldn't breastfeed there...it's gross, kids poop and pee in that pool!" Out of the mouthes of babes (or teenagers) ! She was concerned for the health of the babies! No thought that the breastmilk would be a health concern...why? because it's insane to even think in these terms!
with love, Tricia



Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Oculatum Day 2

Did you do it? Did you read it thrice times thrice throughout the day?
I did. We'll check back in six days to compare notes. For today here is the four lines :

THE MUMMER
HAS OFTEN
THE CLEAREST
OF VOICE

I will probably have to wikipedia the word "mummer".

Pause....I looked it up...it has something to do with old english folk plays usually performed in the streets...but you should look it up for yourself.

Natural Age of Weaning

Yesterday I was deciding how I was going to spend my couple of hours while Astrid was in preschool....my midwife friend who I long to sneak a lunch visit in with was booked, I couldn't spend any more money at any more thrift stores (not this week), yes, the house needed cleaning...but.....and then I received a phone call from one of the public health nurses asking if I was still doing classes. Yes, I replied but the summer is approaching and I will gear up again in the fall. Then she asked if I had ever attended the Breastfeeding Coalition meetings? No, I replied, I havn't been able to make it to one yet but I would really like to. Well, no pressure, she said but there is a meeting today at 1:00pm.

Well, I was all dressed up ( I had decided to wear my new thrift store score...a beautiful A-line green skirt and my new jewellery from Mother's Day) and had no place to go...so I went.

So, here is a little bit about this group...www.okanaganbreastfeedingcoalition.org is the website and the goal here is to promote and advocate for natural, normal, healthy breastfeeding communities. Here's something that made my jaw drop.....did you know that there are actually people, communities, people who think breastfeeding in a public pool is a health concern?!?

I was shocked...I guess because I have been a breastfeeding mom for 16 years (oh, gasp, I know, hold on) and never considered this a possibility....a health concern? I consider the urine and feces that might be in the pool more of a health concern or of a concern....I never considered breast milk. Admittedly, I do have my own biases about public pools, bathing suites and public pools...and I basically consider the hot tub people soup (ewwww) BUT my kids LOVE the pool and I have been known to "suck it up" and go in from time to time. (Generally I wait till they are old enough to go in lessons alone, ahem)

So, for you breastfeeding moms out there...you may be interested in this document that explains what it means to have a "breastfeeding friendly" community centre. www.okanaganbreastfeedingcoalition.org/pdf/CommunityCentreProposal.pdf if this link doesn't work...it's not you, it's me. Try googling it.

As a woman, this stuns me that it is even an issue anywhere...but, sadly it is. The healing properties of breast milk are astounding ....

Anyways, this whole issue, the fact that it even is and issue led me back to the natural age of weaning...cause, yeah, Astrid is not a quitter. A good friend once brought some info to my attention about the natural age of weaning for our closest mamal relatives...gorillas and chimpanzees...this is an interesting article...www.kathydettwyler.org/detwean.html again, if you can't find it, it's ,me not you...google natural age of weaning and her article will appear.

So, again...more snippets....breastfeeding is still a part of my life....

Oh, we have so far to go....sometimes I wonder about the whole "women's movement" thing...we are so far removed from our true nature it seems....but that is another post.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The Oculatum

So, this year Astrid attends the Montessori preschool mon/tues afternoons from 12:30 to 3:30. This is the first time in 16 years that I have had a window of consistant "free" time. I love being a mama (especially of wee ones) and dedicated myself to their early years...I am still dedicated to them once they get older...only, things change...dedication turns into being a dependable ride for the most part. Anyhow, back to the "free" time thing...I vowed not to do housework during that window of time (a neverending task that must be repeated anyway) and I started meeting kid-free friends for coffee and perusing the thrift stores.

I am an admitted thrift store junkie. I have always loved treasure hunting. Possibly because I had an active imagination as a child. I can remember a day from my childhood quite clearly...we were on St. Josephs Island just outside my home town of Sault Ste Marie. I don't remember why we had stopped, I think there may have been a wild apple tree my mom wanted to forage...but on the property was an abandoned house. I was aching to go in and explore....my imagination was running rampant with the possibilities of the treasures left behind. I'm not talking gold and silver and jewels....the treaure would be the odds and ends...the pieces of the past that would reveil something about the story the people that had once lived there. But I wasn't allowed anywhere near the old house. I will always wonder.

I also loved playing in my grandparents basement as a child. It was an old house and had been my grandfather's house which he was rumered to have purchased from him for $1.00. The basement was cool and damp and the walls were stone or perhaps concrete. Grandpa had his tools down there and there were things we not suppose to get into. It had a low ceiling and we were watchful for spiders. i remember their old ringer washing mashine....

And then there was the basement of my other grandparents house...we weren't invited to play down there. But, one day, I was a bit older...in fact I think I was a young adult with a child of my own and was home for a visit...and the door was open to the basement. I asked if i could see what was down there and my uncle obliged. It was full of stuff. Not neat and organized like my other grandparents basement but II was sure there were treasures there. I emerged from the basement with an old bean pot....grandpa said it was his grams...which means it is my great, great grams and that he remembered it sitting atop the stove when he was a kid. It sits on my counter today with my wooden spoons and other utensils tucked into it. It has a small chip around the lip...but...my grandpa remembered it sitting atop my great, great grams stove.

And so, recently I noticed on mondays that it is "pick your discount" day at the Salvation Army thrift stores!!! Hooray! They have a little basket waiting under the counter and after they've rung in your purchase...half price items included...you dip your hand into the basket and pull out a little folded piece of paper that when opened gives you a discount of anywhere between 10%,15%,20%,or 25%. I have been pretty lucky so far getting a good discount.

So, what I found yesterday may interest you. It is a little book I almost didn't buy because I didn't need it....
But, I bought it and it is so cool. It is called the Oculatum and apparently it is a book compiled of wisdom collected after a great fire in the city of London the year 1666. Originally passed down through word of mouth, The Oculatum became a collection of wisdom that might be read in time of need. It has no beginning, no end, no middle. It may be opened from the front or the back, the reader decides which is the top or bottom of the page.

Instructions : It is suggested that the four-line phrase that comes into view be read six times,
silently or in voice. Repeat this action three times during the day...The following day the process is repeated for the next page and so on for a six day period. It is of ne consequence for the reader to remember, understand, or comprehend the phrase; it matters only that it be read. For it should be upon the completion of the sixth day that the reader may discover a greater sense of focus and awareness. Any decisions to be made can now be acted upon. If the reader desires, the process may be repeated in the same section or in any other as described above.

The Oculatum : may offer clarity, strength, and awareness for the attentive reader in his or her daily life.

EVERY VOYAGE
HAS BOTH
THE TEMPEST
AND THE CALM


So, this is the phrase you must say six times today...write it on a piece of paper....tuck it into your pocket.......three times right now, again around noon, and thrice at bedtime.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Lists

Things I havn't got around to doing yet :

planting two placentas

painting my belly cast from my last
pregnancy

losing 30 pounds

Things I have been doing :

potting vegetables and flowers for this season

visiting with family and relatives

driving in circles around town

Things I hope to do soon :

spend 10 mins on the eliptical

undo the 10 mins with a piece of birthday cake

use the new mini watercolour set

Easy Monday Dinner


Cheese Cannelloni

1 small tub of ricotta cheese
1 package of oven ready cannelloni
1 egg
italian seasoning
tomato sauce

This is an easy-peasy, crowd pleaser that takes very little effort.
First, mix ricotta and egg in big bowl. Sprinkle in some italian seasoning.
Next open a jar of tomato sauce or pasta sauce and spread over bottom of baking dish. I use the next size up from 9 x 13....then using a butter knife stuff the cannelloni and place in baking dish on top of the sauce. Then cover with more tomato sauce (you can add a bit of water to thin it out) and cover dish with tinfoil. Bake at 400 for 45 min. Then take out and top with cheese and bake again for 15 min (no tinfoil). Let sit for 5 min or so. Enjoy! Some garlic toast and a garden salad complete the meal.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

A snippet, defined as a small piece of something....

Here's a snippet from my paying job at the gov't liquor store....paying as oppose to "unpaid" work, which I have been doing for 16 years now and will continue to do for many more....ah, a woman's work....

So, anyhow, I had the most surreal experience cashiering the other day...the cab driver in town that seconds as an Elvis impersonator (at least I think he's an impersonator) was in my line up....not unusual...what was unusual was the way he seemed preoccupied as I was ringing through his purchase. I told him what he owed and it was at that moment that I noticed why he was preoccupied...his wallet was stuck in the pocket of his jeans and he was trying desperately to get it out. He was standing there, Elvis side burns and all kinda jumping on the spot and trying to retrieve his very snug wallet. "my jeans are too tight, I can't get it out." he said to my straight face. Paid by the hour, I patiently waited without much commentary other than "hmph." while he succeeded in dislodging his bulging wallet from his front pant pocket. It was quite a sight.

At least I didn't have the hysterical cat lady that had come through the busy line ups earlier in the day....I don't think I would have been able to keep a straight face for that one....
Seriously, she came in wahooing and sobbing and I was sure it was a domestic violence issue and was glad to see a supervisor approach her and ask if everything was ok....obviously it was not...but he then came up to the front and whispered to me in a serious tone that she had to put her cat down. I know, I know, that's sad and I seem a bit cold hearted here but it was just so very "liquor store regular" type behavior....yeah, we get some pretty wild ones. Anyhoo, poor gal. Thank the universe she didn't go through my line up...I would definitely have broken out in an inappropriate smile. Not cause it was funny.....it was just very liquor store-esque.

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