Ever heard of or remember Mango Mama? She was around on the net in the nineties...before blogs, before facebook, before twitter...before I was handy with a computer. I was introduced to her through a friend who was good at surfing the net and finding useful or interesting information.



Mango Mama was the poster mom for natural parenting. In fact, she and her family were pictured on the cover of the book Primal Parenting written by Hygeia Halfmoon. She was radical, she was opinionated, she was Mother Superior of Attachment parenting. And then, as life continued on, as it always does, she disappeared. Well, her web prescence did anyways. Like I mentioned, I was introduced to her through one of her followers (kinda cultish, but that's what it's called, right?) and I didn't really notice when she wasn't there anymore....but years later, I remember someone saying "Remember mango mama?" and it was then that I reconnected with the net to search out what had become of mango mama.....and well, I was surprised.

It seems mango mama kinda snapped. She reached her tipping point, it had been teetering for some time and when she fell, she fell hard. It would be like Soulemama abandoning her handmade life, take up cigarette smoking, eat process foods only and work at (gasp) Walmart.

Mango Mama, the organic, no mother substitutes, unschooling, militant breastfeeding, family bed advocate, fruitarian had an afair with a married man, put her kids in school, left her husband, abandoned her children and got a job.

She came back on line to years ago to explain what happened. I am fascinated by her story I think because I was in awe of Mango Mama way back when, and I guess her humaness is reassuring cause I certainly wasn't adding up when compared to Mango Mama. I don't take delight in her fall...I feel deep compassion and empathy for what she must have been going through. And it reminds me of the moments when i have reached the breaking point. When the thankless, underpaid, under-appreciated job of Motherhood almost swalled me whole. Somehow, I was able to belly crawl back up to the light and reconnect with what it's all about. Remind myself that Motherhood is a spiritual journey for me, not in the flaky, it's all bliss kinda way but in the nitty gritty, where the hell is my centre, my minivan is my temple, find the gems, remember it's about the journey not the destination, pull up my boot straps and accept myself for who I am, Mother and all in THIS moment.

And reach for balance....Mango Mama now wants you to know that she wasn't balanced. She urges you, pleads with you to reach for balance. Easier said than done but the old adage "When mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." is pretty true. We can't do it all, nor should we have to. Finding my tribe has been key to rejuivanating myself as a woman first, then a mother...or is it the other way around?
And what next, what happens when my tribe stays the same but I am heading towards transition? What then? I'll keep you posted.

And so, this is a cautionary tale in part. Be good to yourself. You deserve it. You're worth it. your children will thank you for taking care of your wants/needs/desires.

There are many resources out there to inspire you...

http://www.karenmaezenmiller.com/ of Cheerio Road

http://www.kindredcommunity.com/ interesting site, good articles, very interesting

http://www.mamrenew.ca/

Book The Mother's Guide to Self Renewal by Trudeau